Saturday, January 9, 2010

Pregnancy has turned me into a despicable person

I'm feeling rotten tonight. Tonight should've been Rock Band Night--early this week, I invited a few friends over to the house, we planned the songs we'll play, outfits we'll wear, food we'll eat, everyone was so excited... We were all going to have a blast playing what could be the coolest PS3 game ever invented!

Then this afternoon, one of my guests coughed. And coughed. It was a bad cough, the kind that needed medical attention, or at the very least, lots of rest and liquids. Instead of expressing concern, I panicked, "You're sick?! You can't come to my house. I can get infected! I'm pregnant! My baby has to be protected from germs." The rest of my guests got deflated and then we all just agreed to take a rain check.

Frances is fat and rude. Shame on me!

When I did that, I felt righteous--I was protecting my child! But now I feel bad. Really really bad. I always despised those pregnant women who thought they were so special--demanding the best seats, refusing to patiently fall in line, covering/wrinkling their nose in plain disgust when they pass by smokers/sweaty people/etc, complaining loudly when they don't get their way. I always believed that there is no excuse for bad behavior and being pregnant is not a good enough reason to be rude.


Tonight, I was rude. Because I was pregnant, I thought I had every right to embarrass another person who, worse, already wasn't feeling well in the first place. My pregnancy made me feel more important than I really am when I'm no more important than the person reading this. After all, if a pregnant woman was so special, then why are there millions of us in this world? We pregnant women, we're not so special. And even if we like to think we are because of the life we carry inside us, we certainly shouldn't behave like divas. If people treat us well because of our state, then we should be appreciative. But we certainly shouldn't demand special treatment or think we are now superior to other people! My parents brought me up to always treat people right, to be kind and considerate, to be compassionate. No excuses!

I am ashamed. I'm bringing a child into this world and I can't even behave properly or treat other people well. I can't believe I was so horrid and used my child as an excuse for such bad behavior! All over the world, people are mistreated, even killed, in the name of God or patriotism. We condemn that, don't we? When I behaved rudely towards a poor sick woman today because of my pregnancy, I behaved no better. 

I'm sorry, L. Get well soon so we can have Rock Band fun soonest!


*free image from Dreamstime

14 comments:

  1. awwww...
    it's just like what you said,hun.
    you're just protective of your child.
    i guess we can also blame it on hormones (although you're right about the "unkind treatment has no excuse) .

    as if women are not moody enough during 'those' days, but i heard that during pregnancy it's like double the 'moodiness', as what i heard.

    Im pretty sure that you apologize sincerely (which im sure that you do since you even made it known to us) & he/she knows it.

    This is the part of your journey na of being a mommy. If ever i get pregnant, i ought to have a sticky note on my forehead saying "there's no excuse in being unkind".

    hope you'll have a great weekend,hun!

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  2. I love this post. You are a good person, Frances. :) I don't know if this may sound like an excuse or alibi but when I was pregnant, I was quite maldita at times because moody ako masyado. Then with my daughter, it was a really difficult pregnancy so I try to be comfortable at all times. Nakaka-touch lang talaga when people go out of their way to help you, to give you the best seats and make you feel better. I am sure your friends understand you and your situation. We may not have the right to be divas when we're pregnant but I hope some people will be considerate and sensitive enough din. :)

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  3. Oh girl, that's nasty! But then again, don't be too hard on yourself, now that you've realized it. Do forgive yourself and give it to yourself that you have been into a lot of stress. Pregnancy isn't exactly a walk in the park. You can get OC over a whole bunch of things. While it is true that you might have not responded properly to your friend, you have a valid reason to get concerned. Eh pano nga kung mahawa ka? Should you have quietly retreated to your room and had Vince entertain them instead? I'm sure you'll do good if ever this happens again next time.

    Much love and prayers.

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  4. I hope you're feeling better, F :)

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  5. It's the hormones, Frances, and the feeling sick and feeling hungry. So, OK lang yan! L understands, am sure :)

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  6. Hey Frances! When I was preggy, I didn't care if there were "sick" people close by. And I got major colds and cough at one point, because of that. It was soooo hard, you can't take anything except Vitamin C. So, please do be careful, and take Vit C everyday. I'm sure your friend understood, but it's good that you apologized :)
    Oh, and start eating oatmeal and drinking prune juice/eating papaya everyday. You'll be constipated by the 4th month :o

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  7. Sigh, I would've said exactly the same thing in most likely the same way AND felt the same remorse afterward. But really, you can't afford to get sick! You can't take cough medicine (along with I bevy of other meds) when you're pregnant, right?

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  8. Hi! I'm visiting from MBC. Great blog.

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  9. hi frances!
    you've inspired me to create a soon-to-be-mommy blog too :) i hope you won't mind that i'll be getting a baby widget for my blog just like yours. :-s

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  10. Hi Frances! Ganun talaga. Me nga pag may nakasakay lang sa public vehicle, konting ubo lang super affected na ako. I think it's just normal..hehe btw, sorry ah? but i started a mommy blog din because i was inspired by your mommy blog. hope you don't mind. you're an inspiration talaga! hope everything goes well for you and little Jelly Bean :)i'll be expecting my angel in 3 months na :)

    hope you can drop by my blog (inspired by you) sometime.
    cheers to motherhood!

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  11. Now, now, aren't you being a little hard on yourself, Frances?
    Normally, when someone is sick, really sick, it goes without saying that contact to a pregnant woman should be avoided. Contact to any person should be avoided ;-)
    I really dislike getting coughed at, sneezed at or inhaling other people's smoke (and I'm not even pregnant)!!!

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  12. hay frances, I hope you didn't beat yourself up for this for too long. Yes I agree that it was quite rude, but if they were really your friends, they would have understood it as soon as it happened.

    Share lang ako ha, i hope you don't mind :) I'm not preggy but when I'm hormonal I am not the best person either. just like the past week and a half. I have PCOS and this makes my menstrual cycle irregular. I skipped the last two months (only had very mild spotting) and finally had my period last week. I was cranky the week leading to it. Madaling mairita, matakaw, and extra lazy. Tsk.

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  13. And I just had to say: I prefer Guitar Hero over Rock Band, but both are my absolute favorite games! :)

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  14. When I was pregnant I was very cautious about getting sick because I knew that fevers or taking certain medicines were not good for my kid. I would stay away from people who smoked or were sick.

    So you were a little rude, just apologize and be more cautious in the future.

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This is all pretty new to me so please feel free to share your mommy wisdom!