Sunday, August 29, 2010

Baby blues

Wasn't planning on blogging while I'm going through the baby blues. Didn't want to put it out there since I should be feeling grateful and blessed and happy, instead of overwhelmed, inept, smothered and weepy. But, folks, I gotta be honest. Motherhood is hard.

A few days ago, my father posted a message on my Facebook wall. He said, "My daughter is happier now that she's a mom." Something like that. If you've been reading my blogs, you'd know that my father has this blind belief that women without children are the unhappiest people alive. Anyway, I deleted his comment because it just isn't true. I mean, yes, I am happy now. But I was also happy when I wasn't a mom. So to say I'm happier now is totally untrue.

It's just really hard to say I'm gloriously happy now when I haven't had a good night's sleep in months, my arms and back are sore from carrying the baby, my body is ravaged by pregnancy and childbirth, I haven't had a lovely loooong bath, all my meals are rushed, and--worst of all--I haven't had good quality time with Vince and I don't know when that will ever happen again. I'm not even talking about sex; I'm just talking about a long quiet evening having an uninterrupted conversation with my husband, something that used to happen every night for the past 11 years. Good-bye to that, one of the greatest joys of my life.

These are the days I really really wish I could have a cigarette and just stare at that smoke curling up into the air and let it calm me. But, nope, no more cigarettes for this mommy. So I just end up weeping.

I'm not unhappy, though. No, no. I can't say I'm unhappy because that isn't true either. Though my life has changed profoundly in the biggest and littlest ways, one look at our precious baby boy and, cliche it may be, my heart fills up and almost bursts with joy. I'm just overwhelmed, I guess.

My mommy friends tell me to "hang in there," that "this too shall pass," that "the first few months are really hard." I take desperate comfort in what they say. I'm glad I'm not alone in feeling this way. I thought I'd be a supermom, you see, so to dissolve into tears when confronted with another dirty diaper after I just changed him is ridiculous and sad. But when my mommy friends tell me their own stories, then I don't feel so bad. Thanks to all my mommy friends!

Thanks to my husband, too. You have no idea how much it comforts me when you hold my hand at yet another 3 a.m. feeding. That's all I really need to know that all is well and I'm not alone in this crazy new world. That's all I need really. Thank you.   

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Watch out, Puss!

You've got some stiff competition.

Really. Who can resist that face??? Love ya, Vito!

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Vito's birthday

Hello everyone! This is Vince. I'll be taking over blogging duties while Topaz Mommy is busy with the newborn baby. Thought I'd just briefly update the world on the birth of our son Vito with some photos of the big event.

Friday, August 13, 2010

While I am still lucid...

I just want to say to preggy mommies that you should add water bottles filled with water or cold tea infusions to your hospital bag list. Spent the entire day at the hospital today. Thirsty. I had to keep asking for water from the nurses, who would comply with little paper cups of cold water that never quite quenched my thirst. So mental note: Bring your own water bottle! 

Yes. I am in the middle of labor as I type this. I swear the pain is driving me insane. Why am I still blogging? Because I'm waiting for the contractions to become 5 minutes apart--the OBG sent me home. Yes, after I spent the entire day at the hospital with too few and irregular contractions, she decided to send me home! Just my luck, this evening, the contractions are coming and they are fast. And they are painful!!!

It's 1:56 in the morning of Friday the 13th. I always believed Jelly Bean is a lucky child. I had told him to come out on the 9th (so that his birth date will be 08/09/10) or on the 15th (so that his birthday will always fall on a payday) but my son has other ideas and instead has chosen a most curious day to make his debut. Well, dear readers, wish us luck! Include us in your prayers!

Okay, contractions coming at 10 minutes apart. Time to fill that bottle... I don't know when I'll be back in the blogging world but I wish you all well and may the Force be with you!


Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Loving our Lassig diaper bag!

The dear people behind Lassig--this amazing German bag brand--sent over a much needed and super appreciated gift: a diaper bag!

This is a spacious bag in army green. No cutesy design. Perfect!
Lots of compartments and zippered pockets inside!
Plus, it comes with a padded changing mat, a utility pouch and a bottle holder.
We love how it's designed for mommies, daddies and babies. My hubby won't look ridiculous toting this around and my baby can use it when he's older. We obviously LOVE it! Thanks, Aileen and Kenrick for our fab Lassig bag!

Lassig is available at Rustan's Department Stores.

This is where my Jelly Bean will sleep

I'm 39 weeks and 2 days pregnant as I type this and though the Jelly Bean's due date is still next week, his father and I are most impatient. Everything's ready! Vince and I are as ready as could be and, at the same time, we don't think we'll ever be ready for the daunting task ahead.

Perhaps that's where the material things come in. Somehow, furnishing the nursery with nice things and receiving so many wonderful gifts from so many lovely people are our way of assuring ourselves that it will all be okay. I mean, just look at my son's bed. I don't think he can say we didn't try to give him a good start in life!

This is a cot from Mothercare. It's larger than the average crib.
The baby can use it until he's 5 years old!
Beddings are from SM Dept. Store. Vince and I chose the least
pa-cute design because Jelly Bean is a serious baby!
Beddings, to my shock, are quite pricey. But this set includes a fitted sheet, headboard thingie, a bumper, a comforter, 2 bolster pillows and cases, and a pillow with a depression in the middle so that baby's head doesn't become flat.
My teddy bear prefers the baby's bed now!

Exciting times ahead! We can't wait for the baby darling to sleep here.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

My belly button behaved itself

Remember when I talked about missing my belly button?
Pinky is 34 weeks along while I'm 38 weeks!

Well, a couple of days ago, my my dear old friend from Assumption, Pinky Jacob Ileto, kidnapped me so we can have a lovely mommy-to-be chat over dinner. She gave Jelly Bean a fabulous Darth Vader button-down shirt (to the immense delight of the baby daddy!) and then she dragged me around Rustan's Shang to shop for all things baby--bottles, nipples, clothes, etc!

Now, in our photo above, you can see that my 38-week-old pregnant belly is stretched to incredible proportions... but my belly button is nowhere to be seen.

Yep, folks, the button decided it won't become a third nipple. So despite the stretchmarks, the huge bloated feet, the weird skin discolorations and everything else happening to my body, I'm happy one part of me decided to behave itself. Thank you!

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Fat! Fat! Fat!

In July, my OBG, Dr. Rebecca Singson, had to attend a series of talks so she advised me to see her associates at Makati Medical Center for 3 weeks. So off to MMC I went.

The doctors I saw there said that I gained "just 25 pounds" and that the baby is "just 5.5 pounds" so we need to fatten up. I protested, "But Dr. Singson said I'm doing fine at 25 pounds and that--since I'll try to deliver normal--a small baby is okay. I can fatten up the baby when he's out." The two associates just looked at me like I was crazy. "You need to take these additional vitamins. Drink milk--"

"But Dr. Singson said I don't need milk!"

"--and eat lots of protein, like beef and pork."

So off I went to do just that. Before I went to the associates, my weight was 133 lbs. Today, when I saw Dr. Singson, I am at 141.8. That's almost 10 lbs in 10 days!!! When Dr. Singson saw my weight, she looked at me and said, "Now you're overweight!"

In other words, I'm FAT.

"What happened? You were doing so well. And if you want to have a normal delivery, you don't want a very big baby."

So now I also have a FAT baby. I'm sooooo annoyed!