Thursday, September 2, 2010

Vito's growing up

Tomorrow will be Vito's third Friday. I just put him to sleep (finally) with The National playing softly in the background. He's still finding a pattern to his sleeping and eating—sometimes he eats every 2 hours, 3 hours, sometimes it's every hour.

But I feel better now. All you mommies who left encouraging comments in my last post and on my Facebook wall and blog page, and who sent me emails—all your own stories really helped. Thank you. I do still succumb to tears when I'm exhausted but I have started getting used to the sleepless nights and everything else that comes with new motherhood. In fact, while I want to sleep more than anything in the world, I've also begun grasping at the moments I'm awake—only then can I see Vito and drink him in. He's growing so fast!

This is Vito when he was just 5 days old. This was taken by Vince at 3 in the morning when the baby just refused to sleep. Vito doesn't look like that anymore. So Vince takes photos of his son every day because we just can't believe how quickly the time passes by.

On Facebook, I read on one mommy's status that this week is "Son's Week." I used to scoff at silly things like that, you know, Hallmark Holidays, just another excuse to get us to buy cards and flowers and gifts. But I did get a bit teary-eyed when I read Tani V's wall post:
A son will hold your hand for a little while... but will hold your heart for a lifetime. He will outgrow your lap but never your heart! 

This is my husband's hand holding my son's hand. Vito's hand isn't that tiny anymore. Already his fingers are growing longer, his nails—when I cut them—are stronger, and when he's mad and flails about, his little fists hurt whatever they hit. He's so strong, my boy. And I whisper to him, "Don't grow so fast, darling. Mama can't keep up."

If you've been reading my blogs, you'd know that I never wanted to be a mother. A parent-child relationship just seemed illogical to me. It's the only relationship doomed to be a success. Did you get that? It's doomed in the sense that it will only be a success if your child leaves you. Every day, we parents teach our child the skills it needs to do one thing: Leave you.

One day, these little feet will walk away from me and his Papa. It already breaks my heart.

It already makes my heart soar.

18 comments:

  1. Don't think about him as 18-year old Vito yet. He'll stay with you for a long time yet, hanggang sa ikaw na mismo ang gumustong lumayo layo sya ng kaunti. :)

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  2. awww...this little boy will be a heartbreaker someday. he is so gwapo, frances :)

    this made me a bit teary-eyed. i also never thought of myself as a mother material. got pregnant earlier than planned but when i look at my children now, my heart just bursts with so much love and affection that i don't know if i can let them go when they need to be on their own already.

    you're doing great! :) HUGS!

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  3. Awww... that made me cry. I'm so happy for you Fran. Vito is sooo GWAPO! :-) Will visit you soon before Joseph and I leave for Davao and live there for good.

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  4. Frances, this post made me teary eyed too! I never realized that until i read your post. We teach and mold our children so that they can learn to live without us in the future. Looking at my baby Anika, it hurts nga. But I guess, that's what being a parent is being about, letting go..

    Hay! That is why we need to really enjoy our babies while they are young. Sulitin na natin ang pwedeng sulitin as much as possible =)

    I love reading your entries Frances. Keep them coming ha =) You have a talent of putting into words feelings that someone like me cannot express verbally.. Thank you for that =)

    Take care and hugs to baby vito =)

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  5. Rachel said, with all the wisdom of a single woman: "Ay, halos araw- araw pala nag-iiba hitsura ng baby!!"

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  6. Don't worry about him leaving Frances. I stayed in my mom's house till I was 37 and my brother now at 27 has no intentions of leaving yet either.

    My mom was actually begging us to get married at one point. There is so much to do and explore now and Vito being a little man may not want to settle down till he is 40!

    He will look for someone like Mama too which is tough. Don't worry Frances you will have him for a long time.

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  7. Your post is really touching.. Treasure every moment of it because time really flies fast.. Every hardship has it's own reward. I'm also expecting a boy soon.. And I'm reading all your post and it really helped me coping with mine..

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  8. he's so adorable frances! oo nga they grow up so fast sometimes you'd wish you can just freeze time. the first few weeks and months of post partum is really challenging. i cried A LOT! but it gets better you'll see :-)

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  9. Vito is so adorable, Frances! I remember those sleepless nights very well, and I do miss them sometimes. My Vito sleeps through the night now, and the longer his sleeps are, it just means that he's growing more and more. He's also so malikot now, and often wants to wriggle out of my cuddles, whereas before, all we could do was carry and cuddle him close.

    Sometimes I can't believe Vito's 10 months old already (His birthday is celebrated with a cake every 8th of the month, hehe). We're already planning his first birthday party!

    Trust me (and the others!) that you'll fall more and more in love with Vito as time goes by. You'll be amazed at how you were really made to be a mommy to your boy. God bless!

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  10. Your son is so adorable. And by the look in that photo, I suppose you're right. He is going to be a serious baby.

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  11. I'm glad you're feeling much better. It's okay to cry. I still do too.

    Babies do grow up fast so we have to enjoy and savor as much as we can. If only I could capture everything, I would. I am happy that my baby is at par with developmental milestones of his age but at the same time a little sad because I then realize that he won't be my baby soon.

    More power to you!

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  12. i'm taking things one day at a time too. my son now talks a mile a minute and he refuses to be held because he wants to run around and be free! he's already breaking my heart but that's how it is...

    glad you're feeling better frances :)

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  13. Love this post! I totally agree...we (parents) are "halfway houses" for our kids. We teach them to deal with the "real world" then let them out. But I realize that when we establish good attachment with our kids, they eventually return "home" (to us) for recharging every now and then. I do that with my parents, and I see that in my boys. As long as they know that we are there for them, they'll keep coming home.

    Just one more thing...Vito is soooooo cute!

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  14. That little man's gaze--it melts my heart. Can't believe he's turning one month na pala.

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  15. hi, congratulations!! :)

    i suggest that you read the baby blues comics strip by kirkman and scott. it's a good comic book that will guide you through parenthood. i assure you it will be a good read for you and your husband.

    it made me laugh and look back on the 1st night/day jitters of motherhood.

    you may want to read more about them here:

    http://www.babyblues.com

    Congrats again! :)

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  16. Hi Frances! after a few days of not checking the blogs i follow, i read this! I love it. i got teary! i can't wait to read more about your mama adventures and vito's too!

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  17. Love this! :) Don't worry, you're doing the best you can! Being a mom really is a mission in itself! :) The support of your hubby, family members, friends, fellow moms and of course, Divine Help from above, will see you through the tough days. :) Your Vito is SOOOO cute! :) God bless always!

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This is all pretty new to me so please feel free to share your mommy wisdom!