Sunday, November 14, 2010

The breasts issue

My former officemate Sorsi emailed me recently. She said Vito "is sooooooo cute" and asked how was the labor and delivery. She also asked, "Are your boobies bigger?"

Now first, a little history. I have the flattest chest in the world. Well, I used to have the flattest chest in the world. I even wrote about it for Candy magazine. But it sure does help that I have other things going for me--like I'm smart and I have nice legs! To my relief, Vince happens to be a leg man. Even when it comes to chicken, he ignores the breasts and devours the leg and thigh parts!  

Then pregnancy happened and I filled out. Everywhere. But I knew, to my consternation, that it was my breasts people looked at. Insert exasperated sigh here.

So anyway, back to Sorsi's email. This was my reply:
Labor was okay. It hurt like hell but kaya. Di man lang ako sumigaw o nagmura. Parang super grabe over na LBM. Then I pushed the baby out in 5 mega pushes. Tapos na! So anti-climactic. 
My friends na di pa naganganak asked, "Did you shout or scream?" And I was like, "Well, if you're on the toilet having a mega-dump, do you scream and shout? I just basically closed my eyes and pushed!"
And yes, the boobs are bigger. Like double. So weird looking! Kasi they're full of milk so they look distended and hard. In Vince's words, "They look fake." The irony, Sorsi, the irony! For the first time in my life, I finally have boobs and they look fake!
My breasts aren't huge, though. Just okay-sized. Except that they look fake!

3 comments:

  1. You got me at "boobies"! :) I join you in the "flat" department.
    And yes, post-partum milk-bank boobies look stiff and fake! LOL! Mine went two full cup sizes bigger! My consolation is at least I got to experience having real (natural) va-boom boobs and cleavage for almost two years ;) Now they're deflated, depressing really :(

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  2. I feel the same about my breasts! I used to have a small chest, i never wished for them to be big. After being pregnant and breastfeeding, it's weird having big boobies. I went a size and a cup bigger. I miss my old breasts. But our babies comes first, i don't mind the change, it's the men who stares at breasts!!! Before i can wear plunging necklines without having to worry about oggling eyes, now i have to make sure i'm well covered.

    -- appledumplings

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  3. Porn boobs is the best way to describe them. It's crazy how big they can get. Now the boob size after is a whole different story.

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This is all pretty new to me so please feel free to share your mommy wisdom!