Friday, February 11, 2011

Giving it all to a higher power

I'm a bit of a control freak. One of the reasons why I didn't want to have kids is because I knew that kids are people, not objects I can control. I can't control the gender, what he'll like, what he'll be, etc. I can try guiding him but in the end, who knows how he'll turn out?

Tito William, my friend Mariel's dad, once assured me, "You can do your worst and they'll still turn out all right." Meanwhile, my own dearly departed mother once told me bitterly, "You do your best and they still turn out a nightmare." She wasn't talking about me, thank goodness!

So every day I pray to God to please give me the wisdom to raise my son. I tell Him that I acknowledge that Vito is not really mine to keep forever, that I only have his undivided attention for a few years and then he'll spread his wings and fly and that I hope God will help me in those few short precious years.

I want to be worthy of this stewardship. I want to let God know that I will take care of His Vito, that even if I had not wanted this before, now that I have it, I take this role seriously. I confess to Him that I have no idea what I'm doing but I will try very very hard not to disappoint Him when He gave me this huge responsibility. Because even though I'm scared, I am beyond grateful, too. I may not know what the future holds but right now, this very moment, I will take joy in anticipating it.

And in giving up control and letting God guide me, I realize what a relief it is to just trust Someone who is infinitely wiser, stronger, gentler, nobler, kinder and more full of love than I'll ever be. 

Yes, Vito will be okay. God is raising him. I'm just the conduit. The very happy and grateful conduit!

God bless you all, my fellow parents!


8 comments:

  1. I hear you, Franz! At the end of the day, it really is his decision. We can only but give full control over to God and pray, pray and pray! God bless you! I am blessed to read this post.

    And again, I say, your son is sooooo cute! He's a charming young man! Can I carry him when I see him? He was so tiny when I last saw him. Twas a long time ago when I last held an infant. Was too afraid. Kakagigil! Sigh! :)

    Happy hearts day to you and happy birthday to Vince too! :)

    Jen

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  2. Parenthood is a scary thing! It is unconditional love and it's a work in progress. Instinctively, you'll know what's best with the guidance and trust in God :)
    By the way, my blog post for today happen to be about parenting as well, do check it our if you can.
    Have a love-filled weekend!

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  3. Nakakaiyak naman.. not all moms have the lady balls to say the things you did. Vito is so lucky that God chose you to be his mom.. I'm sure maiiyak yun pag nabasa niya to when he grows up.. i wish i knew what i mom was thinking rin.. so i can appease her that I'll be okay.. i am okay.

    again, another inspiring nakakaiyak na post from you!

    much love to you and cutey Don Vito. :)

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  4. J! Of course you can carry him =) Medyo nangingilala na siya lately, though. But as long as I'm around, he lets himself be carried by someone else. Daan ka ulit sa bahay! Kunin mo na rin gift niyo ni Jeff haha.

    Mom-Friday, I love your post! It's definitely helpful for parents to be empathetic about what their kids need.

    Shen, I feel like I'm the lucky one =) Ya, I wish I also knew what my mama was thinking when she was still alive. Oh well =(

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  5. ANG.CUTE.NI.VITO. *gigil*

    You're so right. Being a parent is the toughest job on Earth, but it is also the job with the most grace. Why? Cuz the unconditional love we have for our kids can only be supplied by a God with an infinite amount of love.

    I love that when we learn something about parenting, we become better people for our kids. We also learn to grow in faith, in our spouse, in our parenting, in God, who supplies us with the grace to be parents.

    Vito's in good hands. ;)

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  6. Martine, actually that's why I pray that I don't fail God and Vito. Unconditional love isn't natural to some parents. Well, to me it is but I've seen enough parenting around me to know that parenting is a serious job that a lot of people aren't taking seriously. Naiiyak ako sa awa sa mga batang hindi inaalagaan nang tama ng mga magulang nila. But what can I do?! Nothing. So I pray I do a good job with my son.

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  7. Vito is my baby crush. He's just so cute! :)

    I'm sure you and Vince will be great parents. God bless your family.

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  8. Thanks, Amina! I have a crush on Vito, too!

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This is all pretty new to me so please feel free to share your mommy wisdom!