Monday, November 21, 2011

About push presents

Over at Topaz Horizon, I talked about how it would be nice to receive diamonds as a push present for our second baby. I got comments wondering what that was all about and if I invented the concept. Nope, I didn't invent it--it's most likely the brainchild of some jewelry company, the way they decreed diamonds are forever. (Wiki says the jewelry industry didn't invent it.)

A push present (or baby bauble) is a gift someone, usually the father of your child, gives you when you give birth. It's a present meant for the mother, to congratulate her. Usually, you see, from the moment a woman becomes pregnant, everything revolves around the child--ask any mom! So a push present says, "Your life will be devoted to your child now but here's me spoiling you."

It's not a required gift, it's not a tradition, it's not important. But some hubbies and some parents and some friends are usually so overwhelmed with happiness and love for you that they can't help themselves.

Vince gave me a topaz ring. It was both a push present and a birthday gift. He said he hadn't been planning on giving me anything but when he saw me give birth and when he met our baby boy, he fell in love and went and bought me a bauble. Now every time we see my ring, we think of Vito.

A push present is usually a piece of jewelry. Most of the time, it's a ring with the birthstone of the child, and so with every birth, the mother can stack the rings on one finger (mine was my birthstone, though). Some get a necklace and you just add a pendant of the child's birthstone and so on and so forth. Sometimes it's a charm bracelet and you add a charm to symbolize each child. Some get watches or earrings.

Here are some nice gift ideas I saw while window shopping online:
Sterling birthstone stacking rings

Framed stacking rings

Hand-stamped mother+children necklace

Personalized milestones necklace

Charm bracelet

These would make any mommy happy--if not as a push present but for birthdays and especially for Mother's Day (another invented and commercialized holiday!).

Now, push presents need not be jewelry. It can be flowers or chocolates. Parents.com has a good list that includes a rocking chair and a family vacation. Some women who weren't allowed to eat certain foods while pregnant get bottles of champagne or baskets of sweets (gestational diabetes sufferers!). These are usually push presents from friends, who must've missed drinking parties with you or suffered nine months of you whining about how you can't eat this and that. Some parents and in-laws are also so proud of you for giving birth that they give gifts. I know someone with really rich in-laws and she got a Jaguar for giving birth to her daughter and BMWs for each son! Wow!

But I personally don't believe that women should expect a push present. Remember that it's a gift so it should be freely given and graciously accepted, whether it's a box of chocolates or a new car. Do I think push presents are excessive? Nope. Like I said, it's a gift. If someone wants to give you something because you made them happy, well, then what ya complaining about? A lot of women feel push presents are silly and financially stupid but, hey, each family's financial situation is different so if someone can afford to give jewelry and cars, the rest of us who get flowers or nothing at all shouldn't feel so bad. We got a baby after all!

I'm happy my husband gave me my ring. I wear it every day! But to be very very honest, what I appreciated more than any material gift was when Vince, on his own, decided to take an entire month's leave from work to be with me post-partum. Our stupid labor laws only allow seven days of paternity leave but Vince was with me for a whole month! It must be because I suffered post-partum depression and he genuinely couldn't bear to leave his son. So that lovely month-long treat was the best push present ever. Thanks, Vince!

I do tease him about what he'll get me for the second baby (I have a sneaky suspicion that if it's a girl, he'll give me the sun, the moon, the stars!) but I know that he knows it doesn't matter to me. The new baby trumps all gifts!

How about you, mommy? Did you get a push present?

15 comments:

  1. No. I did not receive one. In fact, I did not even know this type of gift existed until I read your post. I'm glad learned something new today, which I can demand from my loved ones next time I give birth. Haha

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  2. Like AnneM, I didn't get a push present when I gave birth. But I did know about it before. I find it weird but nonetheless sweet for a husband to give a gift called a push present (it does sound like a bribe for mommies to push the baby out, don't you think?).

    I was secretly hoping for one but when I saw and held my baby, I was more than thankful. I'm just going to make ipon these "gifts" that I didn't receive and get something bigger and grander in the future. Haha! Guilt trip for my husband yan.

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    1. Yep, the baby is the BEST gift of all!

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  3. i have heard of this type of present kaso sa Hollywood na. nope I did not receive such kahit dito sa 3rd ko but during those weeks that I can't do the laundry and iron the clothes, sterilize the bottles and all, my hubby is the one doing all of these things, for me gift na yun. hehehe!

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    1. Tama ka! Vince's presence and support during the first month we had Vito was the bestest push present, lalo na kasi I had post-partum depression.

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  4. i think hubby gave me chocolate cookies the 3rd time I gave birth. He always gives me food. But maybe it won't be so bad kung maniningil ako ng diamonds ano?! hahaha

    This is so nice to know. Thank you for the info.

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    1. Food is always good! Diamonds are fab, too =P

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  5. Yes I did! I got a charm bracelet. I didn't ask or expect anything but was pleasantly surprised.

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    1. It's lovely to be pleasantly surprised, no? =)

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  6. I didn't receive one also, but my maternal grandma received one for every daughter she gave birth to. Then about 15 years ago, she gave the corresponding gift to us, her female grandchildren.

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  7. my husband still owes me 2 push presents. lol!

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  8. Sorry for my super late replies!!!

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  9. I don't think hubbies know about push presents. I got a bag which I felt guilty in buying. He told me that was the exchange for what he saved if he bought powdered milk as I exclusively breastfed my baby :) Hope it becomes more popular hehehe

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  10. Glad I bumped into your post as I've learned something new. I should read and "google" more about this and show it to hubby (just to give an idea lang naman, no pressure). ^^

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  11. bouquet of flowers! My hubby doesn't have any idea about this push present, he's just being so sweet... Naalala ko tuloy, Dahil dyan, n-miss ko lalo hubby ko. T_T

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This is all pretty new to me so please feel free to share your mommy wisdom!