Thursday, December 22, 2011

Loving life without yaya and maid!

It's been almost 2 weeks since the household help abandoned us and it's been wonderful every single day! Well, we're tired all the time, of course. My face has sprouted several pimples, a sure sign that I'm exhausted. But it's been more than marvelous living life with just Vince and Vito.

There's no drama, no different bodily smells, no pakikisama to do, no stress, no hiding in the bedroom to talk or to make love, no qualms about walking around in undies or no undies, no restrictions. Everything is where they should be, everything is clean and orderly, everything is not broken!

Vito was always sad whenever Vince and I went to the office.
Best of all--and this breaks my heart--Vito is so happy. I've never seen him this happy, and I think it's no coincidence that it's because it's his own mama and papa taking care of him. I've never been guilty about being a working mom. I never had to be--I work just across the street and I have flexible hours. I go to work usually when Vito's asleep so I never felt that he missed me. And I guess I never felt that Vince had to be more involved as a father since, well, fathers work all day--that's what they do. So to ask Vince to stay home and be Mr. Mom just never occurred to us. But now, seeing how Vito's all lit up with both his parents taking turns caring for him, oh, I'm seriously rethinking our arrangements.

I don't want to quit my job. Like I said, my job is the best gig because it's so near and my time is my own. So I'm really happy that, in the last two weeks, Vince and I have made adjustments to our schedules so that we can both work and care for Vito and manage the chores. The chores, obviously, are the last priority but even then, visitors to our home are amazed at how clean and tidy our place is (thanks, Mr. O.C. Vince!).

Now, with Papa taking care of him, he's always happy! He doesn't even mind when I have to leave for the office!
I'm so grateful to Vince. He's really taken to the nurturing and caring for Vito so well. For example, he's a more patient teacher than I am. He reads books to Vito, he does play activities with him to refine Vito's motor skills. Me? I'm better at the feeding, bathing, changing diapers part. Funny because I'm the one who used to be a preschool teacher! Vito now has more words in his vocabulary, he's more active, looks more healthy, cries and whines less, and is just so much happier! Best of all, Vito is also now so incredibly close to his Papa. It's now always, "Papa! Papa!" It just warms our hearts.

Life with no yaya has proven to be absolutely wonderful. If I weren't pregnant, we'd go on with this arrangement forever. For the sake of the new baby, however, I need to rest more often, especially since this was a delicate pregnancy and I need to take care of myself and Wiggle more. I'm so exhausted now, I forget to eat and take my prenatal vitamins!

Well, the new yaya starts on January 2. That's exactly 10 days from now. Just thinking about it makes both Vince and I sad. But we figured we'll continue with our current arrangement and just have the yaya as more of maid than yaya--you know, cleaning, washing up, tidying up so we'll do nothing else aside from our work but to be with Vito--then just have her babysit when Vince and I need to go out. Emphasis on need.

But definitely, after seeing the big and wonderful changes in Vito, we're going to spend even more quality time with our boy.
New Year's resolution: More quality time with you, Vito!

16 comments:

  1. I wish I can do that now. Most of my mornings are spent nagging at the yayas which leaves me frustrated at times. I wish I could wake up and just play with the kids. But having small children needs extra sets of hands. Plus I work 5x a week.

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  2. Having no yaya is great! Of course I say that now that I have a yaya. It's strange but I need them more that they are older because they have their own social life - playdates, parties, playing in the neighborhood, after school activities. I don't miss cleaning the kitchen or the bathrooms though!

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  3. I can really relate. Having yayas and maids are stressful! But having three small children is very challenging without a yaya. That's the state I'm in now. I'm glad we still have a helper to assist me in caring for my one-year-old while I take care of my three-month-old. My four-year-old just needs minimal supervision.

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  4. I remember the quote "Children spell love... T-I-M-E." after reading your post. Kudos to both of you for spending quaNTity time with Vito. =)

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  5. i love this one. I could see and at the same feel the happiness in this blog...congrats to you and your hubby. :)

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  6. Wow congratulations on being able to take care of your son, household and still go to work! That's an incredible (and on going) accomplishment.

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  7. Very true! We don't have a yaya for Jacob too. Though I've been wanting to just to help me around the house taking care of him when I need to do some things too. But the pros of being able to care for him by ourselves outweighs the pros of having a yaya. Diba we are so much closer to them! :)

    Wouldn't mind getting one in the future though so I can give more attention to work but for now, it's all good as well. ;)

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  8. I love it that we have no yaya but I can't go on like this sadly. With a delicate pregnancy especially. So we'll have a new yaya next week but this time, it will be different!

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  9. I really really want to be a SAHM too, but times are hard and we need to both work. And because of this, we have to rely on the yaya, and it's so frustrating and stressful to find and trust one.

    Glad to know that yaya's on the way, so that you and Wiggle can rest, :)

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  10. Badet, I'm not a stay-at-home mom =) I'm a career girl through and through and will always be. I don't think I'll be happy if I become a SAHM (although I am very happy for SAHMs and WAHMs!). I don't even do it for the money or the prestige--I just LOVE having a career and I want my kids to see that I have another world, another source of happiness. I think it's healthy for them to see that mama is also someone else!

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  11. I've always wanted a yaya because we've never had one living here in Toronto, Canada. I'm on baby #3 now (due any time soon), and we're gonna have 3 kids all under the age of 5 this year. I am also a full-time working mom in health administration AND a food/travel blogger. I WANT a nanny! I wish, I wish...!!! Sometimes, I am just so exhausted. But the one saving grace? My kids. Seeing their faces and their smiles make it all worthwhile for me. I may be damn tired from work and house chores, but once I hear them call, "Mommy, mommy..." it's like a boost of energy; I push through. Hopefully, one day, I won't be so exhausted. LOL!! But indeed, I agree, spending quality time with our kids makes them happier and healthier. Kids are smarter than we give them credit for. They understand and feel more than we know...it's just that they can't express their feelings with words yet. But soon...

    Happy 2012!!!

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  12. totally agree with you, having no yaya makes me so happy, but so exhausted, too. never felt comfortable leaving my two kids with strangers anyway. so it's great that my husband can take care of the money part so i can stay home to take care of the kids. and since i'm a writer, i can even help out and work from home too. perfect set up! :)

    maybe you can ask the yaya to have a stay-out arrangement with you. that's our arrangement with our helper. she comes early in the morning and leaves late afternoon. i love this set up. might work for you, too. :)

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  13. I quit my job to devote my time in raising our first kid. My hubby and I decided that I will go back to work once our son turns one, but it seems that it's gonna be harder to go back.

    There are times when I wished I was just working, because it does become exhausting. However, seeing my little boy grow up, not missing on his milestones is just priceless.

    I agree that spending more time with Vito is the way to go :)

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  14. i feel so much better after reading this blog. i was destined to read this because we're on the same boat at the moment - no yaya and maid since birth (5 months so far). i feel that our first born daughter is lucky to have me and my husband take care of her as we take turns when hubby is on rest day but the chores really get to me esp. the laundry! it's pretty hellish! delayed meals and bfeeding in between, and so the list goes on...but after reading this piece, i feel so happy and reminded myself to count my blessings. i am very lucky that i can stay home with my lovely daughter and be a full-fledged mom to her all the time. thank you for the reminder :D

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  15. Kudos to you. This can really be done. Americans do it everyday :)

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  16. I didn't want a yaya for my son when I gave birth. But my husband's aunt hired a helper for us. The in laws call her yaya though. Our house is small like the size of the one in a condominium. Having a helper cuts down my household chores but I miss the privacy. Good thing she lives outside the house.

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This is all pretty new to me so please feel free to share your mommy wisdom!