Friday, December 2, 2011

Second pregnancy update (because there's been hardly any updates and here's why)

Unlike with my first, I've not been as open about sharing my second pregnancy experience. I know why and I also don't know why! That will make sense (I think) in a bit.

When I got pregnant with Vito, it was such a surprise, so overwhelming (I wasn't ready to be a mommy despite my three-year marriage), so new, so scary, that I just had to share the journey. I had no qualms about opening up about how I felt. The only time I paused from the sharing was when I was about to give birth and I felt that I didn't want to share photos of Vito. Vince said that since so many people were sharing the journey with us and have been so kind and generous, the least we could do was share our new baby boy. And you loved him and embraced him when we did. Thank you!

Now Wiggle. With this second pregnancy, I felt a need to keep quiet from the very start. I don't know why! Every time I wanted to announce the pregnancy or blog about it, something stops me. I was telling Vince, who was wondering why I'm like this, "I just feel like I want to keep this baby to myself." What I couldn't actually say was "You'll never believe me but the baby seems to be telling me that it doesn't want to have a public life."

Did that sound crazy or what?!

It sounds crazy. But I'm not crazy. Or am I? It's weirding me out actually.

Well there. I hope I'm wrong (I was wrong about my feeling that Vito was going to be a serious baby, for example). I want to share my Wiggle with you because you love my family. And I'm sure you'll love Wiggle, too. Maybe I'll feel different tomorrow or next week or when I'm waddling or when I give birth. But for now, the new baby wants to be, er, left alone.

Did you ever feel this way? Or did you always feel that every pregnancy update should be shouted from the rooftops? Did you ever want to keep it a secret (and I don't mean that kind of secret!)? This is so strange!

5 comments:

  1. Hey mommy dearest, I think what you feeling is normal. Knowing that this pregnancy was not as easy as the first then there is a scary feeling there. I felt that when I had my little girl, I feel that it scares me each time I need to go to the bathroom or go out of the house. I feel sick always and something ain't right. At some point your so scared when people ask you how your pregnancy is coming along. Why are you feeling this and that. Wiggle might just want to first be safe alone with mommy and daddy and big brother, and when it's the right time I am quite sure Wiggle would want to let you shout to the world that here he/she is and ready to mingle like mommy always does. EMS

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  2. i think it is just normal for you to feel this way, i felt that too at the start... just felt mas open in the latter part. will just wait for your update on wiggle when you feel up to it... take care

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  3. Blame it on the hormones! Seriously. Well, I wasn't prepared too when I got pregnant so I basically told only a few of my friends about it. But maybe for my next child, it will be different. Who knows. :)

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  4. Hi Mommy Topaz! I was that way too with my 2nd baby during my pregnancy and even right after I gave birth. I was more restrained in sharing info or pics in FB. I don't know, maybe it was the whole "been there done that" feeling. But now, I love sharing stuff about my 2 kids together since its an entirely different experience seeing them grow and interact with one another. Anyway, good luck and take care! =)

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  5. it's okay that Wiggle wants to be left alone...and You deserve it to be a "private" one, mommy...

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This is all pretty new to me so please feel free to share your mommy wisdom!