|See the part I encircled? I'm one of the Real Moms Who Do It!|
|Click here for the story on why I look like that.|
Thank you, Good Housekeeping. I feel very honored and flattered you think quite highly of my abilities. Well, when I did this interview, I really did actually feel that everything was under my control. Then the bag business unraveled and other occupations started breathing heavily down my neck and... I am now feeling really weird when I see that feature. Funny how things can change just like that.
The other day I cried simply because the new maid can't cook the rice right. She puts too little water so the rice isn't fluffy and tender and soft. She's been with us since January 2 so it's been almost a month that we've been chewing hard on our hardly cooked rice. I keep reminding myself to show her how much water to put in the pot but every day I'm just too busy and too tired and too caught up with all the things I have to do that I forget. I only remember when I finally sit down to eat and then I see the rice and then I become unhappy.
So the other day I cried because I can't believe I'm so busy I can't even tell the maid how to cook rice properly. I don't even have to cook it myself, I just have to tell her how but it seems I can't even do that (I've told her today, by the way). And then I have the audacity to appear in a magazine and tell other moms how I juggle everything so well.
So I'm feeling out of sorts. Everything is usually under control but lately, things have been... Well, let's just say every day is a surprise and so every day I'm constantly adjusting. It's stressful. I was telling my friend Mariel that I am a duck, placidly floating on the water but underneath the surface, my feet are paddling away furiously.
Maybe it's just the pregnancy hormones. Maybe it's just the lack of sleep. Because, in truth, I do juggle very well. Compared to other mommies who have to work a 9-to-5 job and have long commutes, my schedule's pretty darn flexible and I should be grateful. So maybe it's not that I can't juggle. Maybe I'm just wondering if the things I'm busy with right now make me happy.
And that's a scary thought.