Thursday, August 30, 2012

My yaya bible


Well, you know I've had some yaya woes but finally, finally, finally, I think I've hired two women who are good.

A big chunk of my problem with my yayas before was I hired out of desperation. So when they turned out to be less than ideal, well, I really shouldn't blame anyone else but myself. I haven't lived with household help for over 20 years so I seriously did not know what to look for in yayas and how to manage them. This was a huge headache. As in iniiyakan ko ito. Ask Vince. He's been witness to my crying fits all because I have no idea how to make utos! He'd say, "Just manage them." And I'd sob, "I. Don't. Know. How!!!"

So thank goodness for Good Housekeeping's The Maid Manual. This is not a press release, a sponsored post, or a favor to my company. I picked up this book in desperation and read read read it. I even took down notes! See above photo!

The book details everything from how to hire yayas, what to look for and what to look out for, what questions to ask during the interview and what salary and benefits to give them. Then it told me what chores should be done (who knew light switches need a regular wiping down?) and how to schedule these chores. Then it lists down what to do if yayas want to ask for a loan, get sick, want to resign, fight each other, etc!

I also learned how to treat household help—I'm the employer, not the slave master, the mother, the bank or their friend. So keep it professional! This seemed like common sense but part of why I had a hard time managing them is I didn't know how to treat them. Since they lived in my house, I figured I'd be a mommy to them. You know, we're all one big family here. So I spoil my yayas. Bakasyon ng 5 days? Ok! Salary advance? Ok! Uwi sa Friday, balik sa Monday morning, every weekend, but buo ang sweldo? Ok! Hindi mo kaya bayaran ang utang mo? Ok! Gusto mo ng flatscreen TV, makeup, moisturizer at perfume? Ok!

Hindi joke yung TV.

Now, after reading The Maid Manual, I am not stupid anymore. By being armed with knowledge and a shift in attitude, my relationship with my help is professional and therefore simpler, easier, happier. Thank heavens! So to Good Housekeeping and Tisha Bautista, thanks!


P.S. Sa mga nawindang na namimigay ako ng TV, it was a 2-year-old TV I won sa raffle. We have a big TV sa living room and that small one sa bedroom. Yaya said hindi naman namin ginagamit yung TV sa kwarto so hiningi niya. Binigay ko. True story.

UPDATE: Just asked Summit Books. The Good Housekeeping's Maid Manual and Smart Parenting's Yaya Manual are available at National Bookstore and Fully Booked. You can also check out Summit Media's booth at the Manila Book Fair, Sept 12-16, at the SMX Center.

29 comments:

  1. Where can I get this?

    I also treat our helpers like family, but sometimes I feel like they abuse this treatment. I don't like being all high and mighty to them because we are all humans and they are not our slaves. I'd like to know how I can have a more professional relation with them without being mean? Does that make sense?

    If you don't mind me asking, how often do your helpers have day-offs? My Mom is so strict with them and it baffles her how often ours (the helper at home not Jacob's yaya) go on hers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It depends on them. With my first yayas, they went home Friday afternoon and came back Monday morning. Every weekend yun. Ok lang with Vince and me kasi we get to have a few days every week na kami lang talaga. We have privacy.

      But now, with the new yayas, ayaw nila mag-day off! Mauubos lang daw sweldo nila sa pamasahe at lakwatsa. So yung isa, every 2 weeks siya tapos overnight kasi she has family. Yung isa naman, ayaw talaga mag-day off. Her family kasi is nasa province. So pag sweldo, aalis lang siya para i-wire yung money and then balik na siya sa bahay!

      Delete
    2. The Good Housekeeping's Maid Manual and Smart Parenting's Yaya Manual are available at National Bookstore and Fully Booked. You can also check out Summit Media's booth at the Manila Book Fair, Sept 12-16, at the SMX Center.

      Delete
  2. Ganyan din ang problem ko dati -- how to manage the help. Having grown in a yaya-less home, I never developed the skill. When we moved south, and I started working online, we didn't hire one anymore. I know it's not a feasible option for most homes, but it was just so liberating! And nabawasan ang problema ko. :) As I always tell my friends, I can write a novella about my yayas; one chapter for each. LOL!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I need to get this, too, like pronto. I have also hired a yaya, who is very good with my son by the way, but I'm not sure how to treat her. My mom treats her like her own daughter but I don't want to give the same treatment out of fear that she may abuse the kindness. Confusing!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Good Housekeeping's Maid Manual and Smart Parenting's Yaya Manual are available at National Bookstore and Fully Booked. You can also check out Summit Media's booth at the Manila Book Fair, Sept 12-16, at the SMX Center.

      Delete
  4. Will get my mom a copy! Our new yaya has been stealing from us in less than a month since her employment! I can't help but feel frustrated because the money she took from me was my budget till the 15th. :(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fire her na! Non-negotiable yan.

      The Good Housekeeping's Maid Manual and Smart Parenting's Yaya Manual are available at National Bookstore and Fully Booked. You can also check out Summit Media's booth at the Manila Book Fair, Sept 12-16, at the SMX Center.

      Delete
  5. I've read about this book several times already and I know I.NEED.ONE.NOW.
    My first time to hire household help and I'm lost. I know how you feel. Exactly how you feel. Iniiyakan ko rin! Kasi I feel like hindi ako marunong mag-utos - either I'm too lax/friendly/"lamya" or the complete opposite (scary/mataray/b*tchy).

    Is this still sold anywhere? Help please... :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh no, I don't know. This was published in 2008 pa. I'll ask sa office tapos kung may copies pa bebenta ko sa iyo hahaha

      Delete
    2. HI Frances! Ako din I want a copy, I'll buy from you!

      Delete
    3. Uy, joke yon! I'll ask na lang if there are copies and then I'll find out how to buy =)

      Delete
    4. The Good Housekeeping's Maid Manual and Smart Parenting's Yaya Manual are available at National Bookstore and Fully Booked. You can also check out Summit Media's booth at the Manila Book Fair, Sept 12-16, at the SMX Center.

      Delete
    5. Yey! Thanks! Bibili talaga ako nyan! :)

      Delete
  6. haha super winner ang TV kwento! But seriously, if I were in your position, I wouldn't know what to do either! The last time I had help I was 11 years old, and she was like family to us, so I wouldn't know where to start today 19 years later!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Wow! You're so generous to your yaya's! I don't hire yaya for my son because my mom used to take care of him while i'm at work, and i feel lucky kasi i don't have to worry about my son, i know he's in good hands.

    Anyhoo, good thing that book really help you. Ur yaya's so lucky to have you.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I checked out National Bookstore MOA for this and was not lucky enough to find it among the parenting books. Saang section kaya usually to?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh no! I don't really know. Maybe self-help? LOL Filipiniana? Magazines? Ack. Will ask sa office again!

      Delete
  9. Where do you get your yayas/household help? I've exhausted all our resources sa province and so far no good ones. I have a yaya now but there is room for improvement.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Both my yayas also still need to be trained and coached. But I'm glad they have a good attitude, unlike the ones before them. I get my yayas from referrals from the maids/yayas in our condo complex. Also from agencies and from friends' yayas. Kahit saan talaga! Good luck!

      Delete
    2. Thanks for the reply. The one i have now is not very sanitary with my baby's stuff and no amount of coaching seems to sink in. My baby was recently hospitalized and we caught her washing my baby's bottles in the hospital sink. as in literally binabad nya dun. I want to fire her na but I need a replacement as both my husband and I work full time. haaaay.

      Delete
  10. May I know which branch you got this? I checked in National Bookstore SMB, Cash & Carry, Fully Booked Greenbelt ... They dont have it daw. I just emailed Fully Booked BHS to check... I hope there are copies pa out there..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh dear. I got mine for free from my company, Summit Media, the publisher of this book. This book will be for sale at the Manila Book Fair 2 weeks from now.

      Delete
  11. I need this! Desperately! I've been having nanny troubles recently.

    Kwala

    ReplyDelete
  12. do they still have copies of this book?:) hope you can reply by emailing me at regina.rlu@gmail.com does it include things about good manners and good grooming of yaya?:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's a very comprehensive book so yes it includes manners, etc. As for its availability, I don't know sorry!

      Delete
  13. Stumbled upon this blog, and became very determined to purchase this manual. Unfortunately, I think it's already unavailable in the market as I went to search for it at National Bookstore Dagupan City to no avail. Can I purchase yours instead, PLEASE? LoL Desperate to find one, REALLY. YELP! xD

    My latest youngest yaya asked permission from both me and my husband to go home the next morning on her 2nd day of work. I gasped in horror as she said those words as I haven't even asked her anything much the first day. I was like becoming hysterical the moment she said those, asking her, was my baby's (few as in a small basket) laundry washing made her tired, or was cooking rice that difficult for her, etc. Her mom, also a maid of my in-laws, explained that her daughter had difficulties being away from their home. So yep, didn't even know what to ask her to do except for "go and watch tv muna while I fold the clothes", "go and have dinner first", and the like. She's very new in this line of duty btw. And yep, still on the verge of looking for a good yaya or househelp na lang.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But I need it, too! I'm currently looking for yayas. Sorry! And good luck with your yaya hunt, too!!!

      Delete
    2. Finally, I found one earlier! Last 4 pieces. And tell you what, my husband came rushing to me at the bookstore, showed this to me and said "kinulit co sila ng kinulit, ayun nahanap nila sa may sale section." Yipee! And it includes Smart Parenting the Yaya Manual too! Great find. Thanks for this post Frances. ;) Hope I could find someone to accompany my mom soon and get myself back to work.teehee Godspeed. :D

      Delete

This is all pretty new to me so please feel free to share your mommy wisdom!