Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Someone talk me out of this

I want another baby.

I think I want to have 4 kids minimum.

My friends with more than 2 kids say everything changes after 2 kids. Your marriage changes. Ack. I don't want my marriage to change. I like us now. Even though we're tired. Exhausted. Even though sex is so seldom now, it's a surprise when it happens. But we still have time to flirt, to have mini dates, to enjoy our kinda rushed meals, to have long hushed talks with the kids sandwiched in between us.

Now a third child... That will change a lot of things. I'm sure I don't want that. And yet another baby to love and enjoy! I do want that.

Vince says we'll discuss it when we become mega-rich. Right now, we have enough for two little boys to have a fantastic life. We're financially okay enough that we don't have to slave away all day. We're so lucky to spend the time we do on our boys.

Now a third child... That will change a lot of things. We'll have to work harder. Maybe take on many jobs. We won't be around as often. We'll miss the kids and the kids will miss us. So what's the point of having more kids if it means working so hard we won't see them?

Okay. I talked myself out of it. Sometimes I just need to hear myself think.

Sigh. I already miss my could've-been third, fourth, maybe even fifth child.

18 comments:

  1. when i was throwing up while pregnant with E, i told Stan to bonk me on the head if I tell him I want 1 more. E is turning 9 months tomorrow. And I have been after Stan because I want 1 more baby!! How quickly we forget.. haha!

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  2. I won't talk you out of it. Kasi ako naman I want minimum of 3 kids. We only have one now hahaha! Let's see, let's see.

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  3. i want 4-6 children... if God would bless us so. I think of it this way... i want them to grow up not yearning for more playmates, i want them to learn how to share things, how to love and protect each other... and when they become fully grown adults, i want them to have the security of belonging to a big family, that no matter what happens, their siblings will be there to support them. and the biggest blessing would be plenty of grandkids... wonderful get-togethers, big holiday parties like Christmas and New Year! Oh, how i would LOVE to have plenty of kids! All the hardwork will be worth it!

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    1. You're so cute! I never wanted a big family. I am the 2nd of 4 kids. We didn't learn how to share, to love and protect each other. In fact, it all felt like we'd be better off without each other. Now that we're adults, it's such a relief we don't have to be together anymore. We don't really like each other—I'm sure that's obvious haha.

      So I want to have kids because I'm selfish. I love babies! I want more babies so I can love them! But given my history, I know for a fact that just because they're siblings doesn't guarantee they'll like, even love, each other.

      I'm praying my sons respect each other. They don't even have to be friends. I just want them to respect each other.

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  4. We're so happy with no. 3 now, though yes, we have all sorts of worries and concerns and fears, too! BUT we know this is what God wants for us at this point, and our kids, too, so we're just claiming His blessings! :) Praying for you and Vince and your boys and your plans! :) P.S. We want four kids din sana, God willing! :P

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  5. I think we all have the capacity to love so much more children! I think that's why I haven't outgrown Next9. I love meeting parents with their babies! We've really decided we don't want another one, but so that I'm close to them, I have Next9! :)

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    1. Ya, I think we're done with 2. It's not about love—there's so much of it!—it's about the quality of life we'd be giving them.

      For example, my parents were working so much, they'd leave us kids with aunts, grandparents, cousins. I seriously felt like they abandoned us. I don't want to do that to my kids!

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  6. My Blake is turning 1 in two days. Lately I have this feeling na "I miss being pregnant" and "I want one more". Pero malabo pa ata yun. I can't reproduce alone. Kung sa inyo seldom... Sa min..non existent! haha.

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  7. I guess the feeling is normal, I'm just surprised it came to you so early. :)
    We have 3 girls, our initial plan (in our minds) is that we stop at 2, but me, I've always really wanted 4 (in my heart). And you're right, everything changes with kid 3. Most basic? 2 kids can fit in a room, but not 3 (unless it's a very big room) so you'd have to plan for a bigger place. A family of 4 can fit in a small car, but 5, plus the maids? hmmm.. kinda hard. :)
    Me, my biggest problem when we had 3 kids, is that there are only two sides, left and right. It's hard when the kids all want to sleep beside you. hehe!
    But I'm with you in wanting more. more! more! more! :)

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    1. It always comes early for me! I wanted a second baby as soon as Vito lost his newborn smell haha but Vince said, "How about we wait till he turns one?"

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    2. And you pointed out even more reasons why I should stick to 2! Thanks =D

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  8. GO FOR NUMBER THREE!! You make gorgeous babies! :D hihi!

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  9. Oh, I hope NO ONE will talk you out of it. :) You and Vince make such great parents, you are the ones who should have more children. You'll raise wonderful kids who will contribute a lot to society someday.

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  10. I miss being pregnant, I like the thought of having another one but two is enough for me for now. :)

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  11. Hmmm if I remember correctly, you were quite hesitant on your 2nd kid. I was too when I had my 3rd. But, everytime I see my kids, I am so happy that I just want more. My husband wants to strangle me already hahah! :) And I thought I was the only one thinking about that...

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  12. You're not alone! I already have three kids now and my youngest is only 1 1/2 years old but lately I've been having this feeling about wanting another one too. I miss the feeling of being preggy too. Also, I have a thing about odd numbers. I don't like them. Haha! So ever since, I've always wanted either 2 or 4 kids. However, realistically, we can't really afford another one now so we're not trying. Sometimes, though, God has other plans so we'll just accept whatever His plans are for us. :D

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  13. Frances, you have to have one more! We need another girl among the Sales cousins! :-)

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  14. Oh, I also think that two is enough. Especially if you want to give them a quality time and better life. We are six siblings (imagine that?!) and we all grew up with our aunts and lola, and it's really hard. I also felt like I was forgotten by my parents, I feel so alone, actually they were separated. Growing up without your parents IS really hard, and so when I got pregnant with my first born, Cyler I told myself that I won't let it happen to him. I'll will never-ever let him feel that his alone. We're still planning to have baby #2 three to four years from now. But for now we just want to give our whole attention, love, and time to our first born, I know he depends on us and that's what he needs right now. Btw, you are right, sex is so seldom when you have kids.

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This is all pretty new to me so please feel free to share your mommy wisdom!