I said this on Facebook today:
The link to the story is here: Everyone Calm Down About Miley
I used to be from that world so, really, Miley's antics aren't that shocking at all. It's entertainment. Horrible entertainment but it worked. People are talking about her, buying her songs, and the tabloids (both print and online) are happy. Just another day in Lalaland. But that's the former entertainment magazine editor in me talking.
As a feminist, I don't really care what Miley does. She's an adult. I believe in free expression and I can't impose on her what I won't allow people to impose on me: censorship.
As a mother, well, I feel bad for her. I'm sure Miley loves the attention (and the money in the bank) but if I were her mother, I'd rein her in only because what she did was beneath her. Miley's so talented. She could do better, and I don't mean better as in be virginal and sweet. She can still be sexy and hot and outrageous without being cheap. I mean, look at Beyoncé. That woman is practically naked most of the time herself, always showing off her legs, her butt, her cleavage but she does it well. If I were Miley's mommy, I'd make sure that if she wanted to show off her body, it wouldn't distract from her talent.
A friend told me I'd be singing a different tune if I had daughters, that I would be bothered by Miley. Actually, if I were a mommy of girls, it still wouldn't really bother me. If I had daughters, they wouldn't even know who Miley Cyrus is. Yup. It's possible. I grew up without a TV or movies. My mother said they were tools of the devil. So there. No media exposure. I feel like an idiot sometimes especially when I landed a career in media but that's what my parents did and even though I grew up in the age of Madonna, Britney and Spice Girls, I didn't end up sleeping around, being undressed and all that—supposedly the result of being a fan of these amazing women. Why? Because my parents, who eventually allowed TV and a few movies, controlled what media we were exposed to while teaching us good, solid, home-cooked values.
(However, my parents overlooked books. Books are more dangerous than any TV show, movie, song or half-naked celebrity.)
I compare this issue with parents blaming iPads and TV and video games as the reason their kids have behavioral problems or they blame junk food as the reason their kids are fat. Duh. Who bought those gadgets? Who bought those chips? Who is the parent who supposedly controls what the kids do, get exposed to, eat? Some responsibility please.
Don't blame the star for being a bad role model. Look, stars don't become stars because they want to be a role model. They want to be famous and rich and adored. So if the issue is Miley is a bad example to little girls everywhere, there's really no issue.
But but but I'm not done with this issue yet. As a mother of sons, I am concerned. I'm worried about how moms of daughters are so worried about Miley Cyrus and girls of her ilk. Why are you worried? If you're raising your girls right, you'll have nothing to worry about! You'll know that they'll know where real self-worth lies, that seeking attention is vanity, that success borne out of hard work and talent is valuable. I want moms of daughters to not be afraid of Miley. She's a product of the entertainment industry. She's not real. She's an image, a commodity. She's not scary at all.
But I'm scared because I have sons. If your daughters grow up to be like Miley (twerking, half naked, tongue lolling out and all), you'll still love her. She's your daughter. You will love her forever.
If my sons end up with wives like Miley, oh dear heaven, I don't know what I'll do!
P.S. Mom of little girls Daphne Paez told me that Miley's dad is actually worried about his not-so-little girl so there's hope for Miley yet! His advice:
"How many interviews did I give and say, 'You know what's important between me and Miley is I try to be a friend to my kids'? I said it a lot," he admitted. "And sometimes I would even read other parents might say, 'You don't need to be a friend, you need to be a parent.' Well, I'm the first guy to say to them right now: You were right."
Parents, be a parent to your kids. Don't be their friend!
UPDATE Aug 29: Well, this song was just released today. Justin B and Miley C. This song is going to explode. I told ya Miley had it all planned out.