Friday, December 13, 2013

Are you a "Yes!" parent?

This post is brought to you by Green Cross Insect Repellent Lotion.

I'm happy to announce that Green Cross Insect Repellent Lotion is now a Topaz Mommy partner! I'm helping support their campaign called "Mommy PROs," because motherhood is a job and we are all professional mommies! In our case, however, it's always on-the-job training! Green Cross Insect Repellent Lotion would like to help us on our motherhood career with tips and stories and shared mommy experiences on their Mommy PROs app on Facebook.

For our first topic, I'm going to talk about "yes parenting."

I find it interesting and even worrisome that parents are forbidden to say "no" these days. No spanking, no yelling, and now, no "no," too. Even when you say "no" to your child, you must always say so positively. For example, instead of "No, you cannot eat ice cream for breakfast," you say, "You can eat ice cream after you eat lunch."

I'm pretty much a chill mom. I say "yes" a lot. Yes to candy and ice cream and chocolates. Yes to iPad and TV. Yes to toys and playing with everything in the house. Everything in moderation, of course, but my husband and I don't see the point of being the happy police, and by that I mean we are controlling their happiness. If it makes them happy, let them enjoy it.

Yes to doughnuts! We get them these treats maybe once a month only.
Yes to iPad! Well, Vito's use is monitored but we really should say "no" more.
Yes to getting hands dirty!
Yes to crawling around a dirty floor and playing with animals!
Yes to toys on the dinner table!

Yep, we say "yes" a lot in this household, but are our kids spoiled brats? Not at all. They're very well behaved and good kids. That's because when we say "no," we really truly mean "no." We don't couch it in sweet comforting words. My kids know that when Mama says "no," she means "no." There is no negotiation. I don't even say, "Please obey me. Please do this for Mama. Please and I'll give you candy?" Nope. No is no is no.

What do I say "no" to? Anything that is rude and disrespectful. Anything that will hurt others and themselves. Anything that destroys things, like books and furniture. Anything that is much too much, like another cup of ice cream.

Because my boys know my "no" is final, they respect it. Sure, there's whining and kid-nagging, a term I recently discovered for when your child wears you down till you say yes or lose your sanity. Like, "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" or "Can I have candy? One candy? Please pretty please? How come I never get candy?" I'm sure you're familiar with that kind of nagging and it isn't cute!

Like I said, the boys know when "no" is "no." So I may be a "yes" parent but I'm also a "no" parent. It's entirely possible to be both! What kind of parent are you? What do you say yes to and what's a definite no?

For more relevant and timely issues for professional moms like us, visit the Facebook page of Green Cross Mommy PROs today.

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4 comments:

  1. I'm a YES parent, too! Too much of it, actually. Too much TV, too much YouTube and too much softdrinks. But I love that when I say no, she doesn't whine that much. Oh well, she's 5 now. Two years ago, I was a living dead. Hehe. :D

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  2. I'm a YES mom too. and I think I have to work on the NO part. kasi when I say No and Neo starts crying, I change my final answer to YES. kaloka. I need to bear this in mind: No is no is no.

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  3. I'm a "Yes Mommy" too! My husband and I don't like being too controlling. We also noticed if we're too strict, the little ones tend to push it more. So, we just say yes -- as long as everything is in moderation.

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  4. we're the same way:) we want happy babies. and our theory is that a happy baby wont be afraid to explore new things, to meet new friends. telling them no constantly would be like putting them in a box.

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This is all pretty new to me so please feel free to share your mommy wisdom!