Sunday, February 15, 2015

What true love means

This weekend is all about love. Valentine's Day yesterday, my husband's birthday today. Love, love, love! I'm happily in love. I think everyone knows that since I like to declare it to anyone and everyone who cares to listen. I'm one of those people who goes PDA online and in real life. It's gross really haha. But I won't change how I share my love-filled life. I'm so proud of it!

I read somewhere that people who are very proud of their relationship status are really unhappy with their relationship status. That's kinda super weird, right? I mean, one can fool himself into thinking he's happy but the other person in the relationship can see through the farce. Like, if I go, "I'm so happily married!!!" on Facebook and Vince knows we had an explosive fight the night before, well, he'd know I was lying. So... that's weird.


You know what's weird, too? I know I say I'm proud of my marriage but I also want to say that nothing has humbled me the way my marriage and our kids have. It's easy to say that my marriage is a success and that I'm a great mom because, well, just look at my life—it's fantastic! But to be very honest, it's only fantastic because a lot of humbling moments come my way every day.

My fantastic life starts every single day with poop. I'm crouched over three little butts, getting poop on my fingers, wiping, washing.

My days aren't full of glamour now. Instead, I'm covered in spit-up, boogers, snot and whatever food the kids wiped on my dress.

When my husband and I fight, no matter whose fault it is, I say sorry.

When I say a bad word or I yelled at my kids, I say sorry.

And this last week, when my husband and kids were very sick, I was hunched over them, wiping snot, massaging backs, giving medicine, hugging and kissing. Then when they have all finally gone into troubled sleep, I was on my knees, crying and begging God to heal Vince, Vito, Iñigo and Piero. 


The Bible says love isn't proud. I used to think that meant you have to be the first to say sorry. Now I understand that love is about service. And you can't serve people without humility. 

Some days, I'm not so humble. I get annoyed that I have to face a diaper full of poop yet again. I get exasperated that my husband wants me to eat breakfast with him when I'm already working. I resent that I'm unwashed, unglamorous and barefoot. I refuse to apologize because I'm right or I'm trying to teach the kids a lesson. When I'm being proud and full of myself, my relationships fail. And I've always believed that no matter how successful you are, if your relationships are a failure, then you've failed in life big time.

So to truly love is to serve, to give up myself and my needs, to swallow my pride, to give and give and give. There's nothing lofty about sacrifice and service, but this I know: When the man I've loved for 16 years tells our kids, "When you grow up, marry someone like your Mama," and when our kids are tumbling all over the house in joy, I know I loved them right. I don't get it right all the time, but as long as I remember to be humble, then everything will be alright.

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12 comments:

  1. Well said Frances. Well said. :) I hope your boys are all okay now. :)

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    1. Yes, they all are. Finally! That was an awful week. Iyak ako nang iyak at night kasi awang-awa ako sa kanila and I was so scared I'd lose them! I know sipon at ubo lang yun so parang OA but they are so small and their fevers made them so hot. Stress!

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  2. What a beautiful post. How inspiring!!!

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  3. Hi Frances! I must say, after 2 years of stalking your blog, this is my favorite post of yours. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences :)

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  4. I may not agree with everything you say (on social media) but when it comes to marriage, I take the road you travel. "Ninang" nga 'di ba? Thank you. :*

    Will include your boys to our prayer later.

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  5. Hugs, Frances! :) and thank you for sharing your thoughts on true love. Sigh :)

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  6. Beautiful family, Frances!

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  7. Oh man. Thank you for this post, Frances. It's a real eye-opener.

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  8. Thanks soooo much, everybody! We all need to be humble. I have to remind myself every day! God bless us all =)

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  9. Great post. great reminder. Love love love to all of you. :*

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  10. Thank you for this post. How easy it is to be lost and to get caught in the ins and outs from day to day, but you are not alone. You are blessed and love is always present. It's true indeed that love is only real when shared. As my dad would always remind me, you can give without loving, but you can never love without giving. God bless you and your loved ones. May love, happiness, and good health be yours for always.

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This is all pretty new to me so please feel free to share your mommy wisdom!