Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Tantrum over

Halloooo dear readers! Okay, I just finished replying to all the lovely comments on my tantrum post last week. Tantrum post? Yes. Remember when I raged about how I believe honesty is the best policy when it comes to blogging and how I railed against being held up as an inspiration? Yes, that post.

It wasn't just Piero who was behaving badly last week.

Ngayon na nahimasmasan na ako at matapos kong basahin lahat ng opinions niyo, I realized I was being childish. What could possibly be wrong with my readers wanting me to be inspiring? It's not like you asked me to be evil or be perfect or be a saint.

The tantrum happened because last month, perhaps because it was Mother's Day month, I got a number of emails telling me I was an inspiring mom. At first, I was elated and then I felt embarrassed and then I panicked. Two letters (and the readers who sent them said I can paraphrase) tipped me over the edge:

  • "I gave up my job because of you. I was so inspired that you are enjoying your kids! I admit that my situation is a little harder than yours as money is tight, but I am with my baby and that's what matters."
  • "Like you, I never wanted to have kids. But I see you so happy with your three boys that I was inspired to start my own family! My boyfriend is thrilled that I finally agreed to have his babies!"


I seriously believed I was ruining people's lives!

(Please don't make decisions because of my decisions!)

My two readers and I had a little back-and-forth where they reassured me that Mommy is not starving and Mommy Wannabe is planning to have kids a few years after the wedding pa naman. But before we had those email exchanges, I wrote the blog post.

Now that time has passed and you have so generously told me that I'm inspiring not because I'm amazing, but it's precisely because I fail so many times (thanks a lot haha) that inspires you. Well, the fact that I either try again or I shrug it off and say, "That didn't work so eff it! On to the next adventure!", that's what you find great about this blog.

So, yes, if living honestly—from the things I buy and products I use to my sometimes brutal, always beautiful thoughts on marriage and motherhood—is inspiring, then I can do that. I can certainly do that. It's not always going to be pretty over here, it's not always going to be amazing and it's never going to be perfect, but it will always always be real.

Whining done, tantrum over. Thank you for being patient with me, my dearest, dearest readers!

P.S. Martine de Luna of Make It Blissful wrote today about how to manage our expectations when our favorite bloggers change. I liked it very much especially since in my previous post, one of my readers called out breastfeeding moms who now like formula. I think Martine addressed the issue well—people change, people choose what they want to show the public, the world of blogging has changed itself and some have adapted (like me, I now have a lot of sponsored content)—but these don't mean the blogger is now fake.

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  1. Breath in and breath out. That was what you needed last week. You really are an inspiration, Frances. :)

    PS: Yes, people do change. I remember you promoting the use of cloth diapers way way back and then you said you are now using Pampers, because using cloth diapers with 3 kids grabs the sanity - and I agree. :)

    1. Yes. To be honest, I thought I had this whole motherhood thing down pat when I had Vito. It was soooo easy! Then I had two kids, then three... and I need all the help I can get or else I will go insane!!! =)

  2. I started reading your blog way way before, I think even before Vito. And your honesty never failed me :) the imperfections of you as a mom is very relatable, yes, even to non mommies like me! topaz mommy, you're inspiring because you inspired people to learn from their mistakes :) to be better and embrace the simple joys in life.

    1. That is the goal every morning - Today, I will try harder. Today, I will be better.

      Sometimes, even with that resolve, we still fail! But as long as we live, we must always try to be better versions of ourselves! =)


This is all pretty new to me so please feel free to share your mommy wisdom!